Stop 028: Woody's (Golden)

Woody's Pizza and Watering Hole

Location:  1305 Washington Ave. Golden. CO 80401

It would have been absolutely asinine for me not to try the all you can eat pizza and salad bar for $11.38!   Let’s get the non-pizza items out of the way quickly… Woody’s has free popcorn, which I dislike based on the fact that I worked in a bar that had free popcorn, and when it’s free, the numbers break down like this.    50% makes it in the mouth of the consumer, 35% ends up on floor, and 15% in various other odd spots.  Their salad bar was decent, and featured a solid pasta salad with artichokes, that found its way onto 2 of my 4 servings.  The salad bar also offers made from scratch beer cheese soup, but due to my limited experience with that product, my overall baseline was determined to be too weak for assessment.   Let’s talk about the pizza!  I ended up housing 7 slices in 4 servings, which proves that I enjoyed the product.  They use 100% mozzarella cheese, and it is distributed in proper fashion.  The crust is garlic kissed, and puffy enough to be considered for bread stick potential when you reach the end of your slice.  The sauce has enough presence to participate in the flavor, and they use agreeable toppings.  The all you can eat deal presents a fair rotation of pizzas at all times, making sure to keep a respectable mix of classics, multi toppers, and specialty pies.  My servers name was Scooter (which rules) and he happened to be very friendly, just like everyone on their staff.   You might want to go during off hours, or you can expect to wait.  One last reason to love the all you can eat for $11.38 is that it is offered ALL DAY, EVERY DAY!  

Stop 027: Pudge Bros. (Capital Hill)

Pudge Bros.

Location:  3434  E. 12th Ave.  Denver, CO

Pudge Bros. uses the kind of marketing strategy that says  if you make pizza available, people will eat it at least once, and even if it sucks, at least we got them to buy it once,  and that is good enough for me. I was pretty hungry when I stopped at Pudge Bros. and purchased 2 slices of cheese pizza.   They were priced at $2 each, which if the quality was anywhere on the spectrum, I would consider it to be a good deal.  After my first slice I thought, this isn't very good, but its okay.  After my second slice I thought, this isn't very good, actually... it fucking sucks!  Here is the breakdown...   The sauce is straight out of a giant Garden Food Service can.  The cheese is a thick sheet of sodium fueled cheapness, and if you pull too hard,  it all comes off like a wet chewy wad that would be better used to caulk a bathtub.  When you are done eating, there is a strong aftertaste of table salt.  The crust is weak.  This pizza sucks!

Stop 026: Massimo's (Aurora)

Massimo's Pizzeria

Location:  1250 S. Buckley Rd.  Aurora, CO  80017

I am going to start off by saying that I did not think the pizza at Massimo's was good, I feel that it was below what I would consider to be decent pizza.  Just to be fair I did a little research so my review is not completely ignorant.  In my research I came across Massimo's Mission Statement which I decided to analyze based off my experience with their pizza. 

     "WE SERVE PREMIUM ITALIAN QUALITY FOOD AT A GREAT VALUE. AT MASSINO'S, QUALITY AND QUANTITY CANNOT BE COMPROMISED... AND WHEN YOU WANT THE VERY BEST ITALIAN FOOD, COME BE OUR GUEST AND ENJOY THE GREAT FRESH ITALIAN FOOD IN A FRIENDLY ENVIRONMENT."

Statement #1  FALSE.  We serve premium Italian quality food at a great value.  I agree that $2.29 per slice was a great value, but I disagree with the usage of the word premium to describe their quality.
Statement #2  FALSE.  At Massimo's quality and quantity cannot be compromised.   Once again in regards to quality, I believe somewhere along the line the quality of their pizza has been compromised.
Statement #3  TRUE/FALSE ...and when you want the very best Italian food, come be our guest and enjoy the great fresh Italian food in a friendly environment.   I do feel that Massimo's has the ability to provide a friendly environment with Italian food, but to say the best Italian food is simply a false statement.

Massimo's  pizza is by no means the worst,  but lets put it this way... I had 2 slices and was less than eager to start my 2nd slice after spending quite some time being not sure what was wrong with my first.    My 2 slices of cheese were littered with stagnant pools of yellow flavorless grease.  These pools rested in every dimple of the generously dispersed cheap bland cheese.    The sauce did not even  penetrate through the flavorless greasy cheese, although the crust underneath had potential to make a better name for itself if it were paired with better pizza components.  On a positive note, I received  friendly service and the atmosphere was PSP- pizza shop pleasant. 

Stop 025: Hops and Pie (The Highlands)

Hops and Pie

Location:  3920 Tennyson Rd.  Denver, CO 80212

Well I never thought I would describe a slice as attractive, but there is a first for everything.   If the slices I was served at Hops and Pie walked by a construction site, there would definitely be some whistling.  For the $3.15 slice of the day,  Hops and Pie offered  salami, fresh mozzarella, and garlic blisters,  so naturally I had to go for 2!  This topping trio was a tremendous balance of flavor that did not take anything away from my ability to monitor the quality of the cheese/crust/sauce.  The cheese was of quality and cooked to represent several different shades of brown and yellow.  The sauce was decent, and it was not difficult to find.  As far as crust goes... it was crispy and slightly charred to my liking, but a bit too thin for the weight of its luggage.  My slices required a curl, but not a complete fold to eat.  Hops and Pie is a place where you want to eat your pizza.  The atmosphere was balanced, the guy on my left was wearing a suit, the guy on my right was wearing a Star Wars shirt and had a piece of rope for a belt.  It might take a minute to get your pizza but thats okay because they have an awesome selection of craft beers to keep you busy.  An outing at Hops and Pie is not gonna be cheap, so don't come here with less than $20, unless you can abstain from alcohol.  A 10" personal pizza is  $7 plus .75 per topping.  This is a place I would take a sexy lady,  a bunch of dudes, or my parents.   Are you looking for a deal?  Hops and Pie has 2 most excellent deals!
Tuesday from 5pm - close $2 craft cans
Saturday  from 12-5pm $16 gets you  2 slices of the day and 3 craft drafts  (which falls under the not too shabby status)

Stop 024: Ian's Pizza (Five Points)

Ian's Pizza

Location:  2210 Blake St.  Denver, CO

Located by the ballpark and a couple decent breweries, I was bound to stop and smell the pizza of Ian.  On this particular spontaneous pizza experience, I was simply on my way to meet a friend for a couple beers and some food, and I thought... Hell, I'll just snag a slice to hold me over, after all its a 20 minute walk, it will take at least another 20 minutes to get our food order, and by then this slice will be evenly spread out throughout my digestive track and I will be hungry again.  Anyways... I noticed that they offered mac n' cheese pizza, so I realized I was in for at least 2 slices.  Rule #1:   Always try an exotic slice when given the opportunity.  Rule #2:   One cannot pass judgement on an establishment without having something measurable, like cheese or pepperoni pizza.  Let's start with the mac n' cheese slice!  Love the idea, but the results were blah blah bland.  I mean don't get me wrong, it was not torture to eat this slice, it just required a fair spray of hot sauce to keep my interest.  When I lifted the skirt on the mac n' cheese slice I was not able to detect any sauce underneath the cheese.  I would like to suggest a spicy Alfredo sauce or a thin paste of hot sauce underneath the mac.  I do believe in Ian's doughy dough, but the sauce was pedestrian.  My peperoni slice was a bit greasy, which I would not have noticed if they were a little more generous with the cheese.  When I found out Ian's was based out of Wisconsin, I was shocked that they did not lay it on as thick as thieves.  Ian's recently opened this shop and it is their first outside of Wisconsin. I applaud their ambition, and with a few adjustments they just might impact the Denver pizza scene, but its too early in the game to tell.  The people who worked there were nice and I feel awful for this unnecessary parting shot, but they offer the consumer tiny napkins that are not worth a damn.  I got some hot sauce on my shirt and used about 20 napkins to wipe it off  (You know the little cocktail napkins you get at a gyro cart where you need to grab 1/4 of the stack in order  to wipe some Tzatziki sauce off your lip) 

Stop 023: Cosmo's Pizza (Baker)

Cosmo's Pizza

Location:  550 Grant St.  Denver, CO 

I have a friend with a really good palate back in Ohio that frequently sported a Cosmo's Pizza t-shirt.  I never asked him where it was, but discovered that it was hiding in a little strip mall about 1.5 miles from my house all along.  I would say that Cosmo's served me the best pepperoni by the slice I have had yet in Denver.  If you look at the photo you can tell that the size of the slice is more than fair.  I have always considered myself a guy with average sized hands, and you can see by the photo that the size of my slice was more than fair.   Cosmo's uses a quality grade of cheese and puts the perfect amount of pepperoni on their pizza.  The perfect amount is when you can pick a few pieces off and snack while you are waiting for your slice to cool down, and still have plenty of pep to flavor the slice.  This peperoni slice has the perfect ratio of grease to surface area.  You get enough hot grease to believe that you are eating real pizza, but it does not end up giving your slice a soggy bottom side.     Cosmo's has a decent crust with a puffy finish like a quality bread stick.  This crust is a perfect co-pilot to  a cup of dipping sauce.  Oh yeah!  They offer a tremendous spicey ranch dipping sauce that is well worth the $.50 price tag.  If you think that sounds too fattening, then why the hell are you eating pizza anyways? They are open every day until 2am, a perfect end to a night on Broadway! 

Stop 022: Sexy Pizza (Capital Hill)

Sexy Pizza

Location:  1018 E 11th Ave, Denver

In my opinion, Sexy Pizza has an awesome name and product.  I really liked the pizza, and I ate it like a pig.  Hence, I didn’t  give myself much time to dissect the flavors, but here is what I got…  Their crust is hand tossed, my slices  were slightly charred and well done.  They actually put what I consider to be  a fair amount of sauce on their pizza, and the sauce is tangy and red.  Yes, Sexy Pizza is greasy and somewhat floppy, but those are common characteristics of real pizza.  The cheese and toppings were at the level of quality that constitutes a thumbs up.   At Sexy Pizza, slices of cheese go for $2.50, while specialty slices are $3.  Bonus!  Buy 2 slices get a free Boylan’s soda fountain drink (during certain times) like the time I was there.   If you are not creative enough to choose your own adventure, they offer plenty of decent specialty slices/pizzas.  On 4 of their signature pies, they donate $1 to non-profit organizations, so consumers like me can justify how their pizza consumption actually helps make the world a better place!