Stop 037: Three Guys Pies (Colfax and Park)

Three Guys Pies


Location: 1501 E. Colfax Ave. Denver, CO 80218 (Inside Streets of London)


Underrated in the pizza scene, this review of three Guys Pies comes after more than my fair share of contact with their product. Thus my review will not be of one slice, but a plethora of slices from various days of the week and various times of day. For those of you who enjoy New York style pizza, this slice has potential to satisfy you unless you are one of those people who hate everything and would not admit you like pizza from Denver because you are an asshole. I am a transplant, and I will admit that many transplants complain that nothing is as good as the pizza back at home. However, when you get chocolate cake at Kentucky Fried Chicken, why would you complain? KFC never promised to be better than your favorite childhood bakery, they just offer chocolate cake for some reason. Just like Denver never said to move here because they are the epicenter of pizza, but they will offer the product.

At Three Guys Pies, you will not need more than two slices, because consumption of two slices is a commitment to being full for 4+ hours. Unlike a lot of new pizza shops on the scene, Three Guys is a hard working blue collar pie. Sometimes I just wanna take a hot slice of Three Guys pizza and smash it in the face of a crossfitter rolling a tractor wheel down the sidewalk. I want to make a statement that pizza should not be low carb, gluten free, low fat, or derived from mega grains!

The dough is satisfying, thin underneath, and girthy at the end when you need it most. The sauce is present, unlike many of its Denver contemporaries. Never forget pizza train rule #3, if there is not enough sauce, there is not a good reason to call it pizza. The cheese is good, and when hot, it will stretch from table to mouth. The toppings are spread with consistency, making sure each bite has topping involvement. Caution: Canned mushroom alert! For those of you who can't get past canned mushrooms, may I suggest the green pepper? They are freshly chopped and ready to sit next to the pepperoni on your slice. Each slice is served at fighting weight, but in true NYC form, it requires a fold for the first 3 or 4 bites in order to gain control. The price is right at Three Guys Pie! If you eat here as opposed to its Colfax peer, Fat Sully's, the average pizza lover will save about $50 a year... That is assuming the average pizza lover has at least one street slice a week.

Stop 036: Blue Pan (Highlands)

Blue Pan

Location: 3930 West 32nd Ave., Denver CO 80212


I recently got multiple reports from my lead pizza scout pushing Blue Pan, so I decided to see if his words were laced with snake oil.  Blue Pan serves up Detroit style pizza, something new to me as of a year ago, but the only Detroit style pizza I had thus far was solid.  I need to come clean here, as I just mentioned, I have only known of Detroit style pizza for about a year,  and recently I was slightly to moderately condescending towards someone who did not know what Detroit style pizza was...
I am not proud of some of the things I gotta do to stay on top of the pizza pecking order.  Anyways, after placing my carryout order I sat in the busy dining room and waited.  Detroit style pizza cooks longer than your typical pie, so be patient.  While waiting for my pizza I  opted to eavesdrop on a conversation at the closest table.  Pretty average stuff, until there was a break in conversation and one of the guys said “where can I get a good wrap in the highlands?”  That question sucks on so many levels, but I really love how he asked the question assuming  there are so many places with good wraps in Denver that he could actually specify a particular neighborhood (Highlands).  I’m not sure why I was so  irritated about that guy asking about wraps, but after getting lost in thought for 20 minutes my pizza was ready.  It looked so good i smiled when I opened the box.   After eating slice #1 understood that Blue Pan pizza is enjoyable.  However, it’s a little saltier than I am accustomed to, kinda like a kiss from a mermaid.  The saltiness can be forgiven because their sauce is boss!  Zesty, thick, and dominating!  Since the sauce is presented on top of the cheese, it is possible to get a rather dry bite, which is why  I would like to see their sauce get under the cheese and do some flavorful damage.  To prevent any sauceless bites I simply spread the small pools of sauce across my future slices to assure a more proper distribution.  Detroit style comes with a thick, greasy,  yet crisp crust underneath the goods.   However, with Detroit style comes the reality that the edge of each slice is truly the end, with no crust to nibble while you plan what slice to attack next.  The toppings easily met my expectations, and there is no doubt they use quality ingredients, but Blue Pan’s prices are a bit too high considering I got an oil change the same day for $3 less than my 8 slice pie.   The only other drawback  is that the next day your slice loses quite a bit of it’s glamor,  kinda like parking an Audi 4 in your garage and waking up to find a Dodge Stratus.

Stop 035: Lucky Pie (LoDo)

Lucky Pie

Location:  1610 16th Street, Denver CO

Lucky Pie is not afraid to offer an excellent selection of Colorado, California, and Oregon beers.  The atmosphere is comfortable and pleasant, the kind of place you would expect  to see a fat man in a pink polo shirt.   Actually,  when  I arrived  a fat man in a pink polo shirt got up and left, and 10 minutes later another fat man in a pink polo shirt rolled in with his crew in and replaced him.   I would like to believe this happens around the clock at Lucky Pie…

Now that you are comfortable, let me break down the pizza.  Lucky pie’s crust has a vibrant flavor which leans towards the garlic side of things.  Overall the crust was so flimsy it made me feel the way Pacman must feel when eating a ghost.  (By the way auto correct suggests Panama instead of Pacman)  The super model thin crust lacks the support needed to prevent droopiness, but when you get to the outer edge it is puffy and filling, almost as if it was powered by Viagra.  The sauce had a red-orange hue and a legitimate flavor I enjoyed.  I opted for the fresh mozzarella and basil pie and it was certainly fresh.   I saved a few slices for later and they really did not hold up cold.  Hence, I suggest you eat it while it’s hot.  If the crust was thick enough to hold its own, we would be looking at a 5 here, but due to its near transparency and its lack of ability to taste good when cold we will go with a solid 4.   

Stop 034: Santeramo's Pizza (Arvada)

Santeramo’s Pizza

Location:  8410 Wadsworth Blvd, Arvada

I was driving my car in some pretty thick traffic out on Wadsworth Blvd. where the ratio of Subaru's to non Subaru's is a little more even then in Denver proper.  That’s when I spotted Santeramo’s Pizza quietly resting in a strip mall next to a tropical fish store.  When I opened the door I immediately noticed the classic pizza shop charm, which basically means red and white checker cloths.  The layout was odd, the dining room was a horseshoe, with a mostly closed off  kitchen in the middle.  Not understanding the layout,  I walked to the right which led me to a dead end.  As I  looked at the wall a guy seated at a table said “if you were a mouse in a maze, you would have to eat your own foot, while the other mice are busy eating your cheese. You order on the other side!”  I laughed, and walked to the other tip of the horseshoe and ordered my pizza.  I went with one banana pepper and the other was pepperoni and mushroom.  A friendly guy brought out my slices and said “Here you go, 2 anchovy slices!”  I looked up in shock and said “What?  I ordered…Oh, Ha!”  He set them down and a lady one table over said “Just pick them off and take them to  the  fish store next door”  That was easily the weakest joke of the day. 

3 jokes, 2 slices!

Enough about my “experience” let’s examine the pizza!  The medium density crust was slightly chewy with  not enough flavor to offend or celebrate.  The cheese was cooked well and had brown spots, which is something I typically like.  I decided to look up why that happens and  accidentally clicked on  a crappy Yahoo message board.   Let’s break down what I learned from this message board…

 The first person said “ I believe that means the cheese burned”

 The 2^nd person said “The heat causes the sugars in cheese to caramelize.” (Which was rated the best answer)

The 3^rd person said “No its from burning, and I am a former Pizza Hut manager.”

Then one person gave that comment a thumbs down.  

Anyways the sauce was decent, but I think the toppings got their degrees from the University of Phoenix.   The mushrooms were dry, which makes me believe they were not from a can, but they didn't taste fresh either.  Maybe  they use canned mushrooms,  but they let them dry out the night before.  The banana peppers were actually met with mixed feelings because I love banana peppers, but I really don’t like when they have the middle junk, so I had to pick about 50% of my banana peppers clear enough for consumption.  The pepperoni was quite simply, adequate.  The staff was very friendly, and the customers were older and local, its the kind of place where you order a beer and take whatever bottle they give you.     Although Santeramo's  is not the best pie in Denver, it is good enough to have stayed open since 1977 on a road littered with garbage fast food chains.  

Stop 033: The Good Son Tap (Congress Park)

The Good Son Tap

Location:  2550 E. Colfax

When I think of the Good Son, I will always think of  Macaulay Culkin dropping a brick on a car, but now after I fight that image out of my cranium I can escape to a place with a decent beer selection and nourishing  Detroit-style pizza.   They also sport a fun patio that rests just off Colfax across the street from City Park.  During my brief stint outside I saw a CrossFit guy who looked like Tom Petty on steroids roll a giant green tractor tire past a guy who was staggering around barefoot yelling into an old boot.   I did some mild to moderate research about Detroit-style pizza, and here is how I choose to define this unique regional specimen.

Detroit-style pizza is basically a style of pizza similar to Sicilian that features a thick deep-dish crispy crust.  This unique shaped pizza is the result of it being baked in a square based pan, which was historically not  for pizza.  Most commonly, people in Detroit used industrial parts trays for baking from nearby factories that dominated the region, which gave this pizza an original shape and style.  

Let’s talk about the product.   Your pizza will appear in the shape of a rectangle, 2 slices wide by 4 slices long.  This pizza cannot run or hide from its enemies, because it will leave a greasy trail wherever it goes.  Please leave your yoga pants and $20 water bottles covered in local craft brewery stickers at home!

Breakdown of a slice:   The crust is made from a 36 hour process, but since the science of bread is about exciting as watching someone watch an entire baseball game,  let me just discuss the results…  The crust is greasy yet porous; puffy yet crispy.   To put it simple, this crust dominated my taste buds.   The Good Son makes a tasty homemade sauce, but I wish they used more.  The cheese did please, and they offer a smoked mozzarella which is not too shabby.   The toppings on my pizza were mushroom, pepperoni, green pepper, olive, and red onion.  In a solid team effort, they left a good impression.   I took my pizza home and ate it in front of a friend.   I was so selfish that I lied and said that I needed to save a few slices for dinner because I wanted to see if it held up after it cooled down.  As soon as my friend left, I ate the remaining slices.  I kind of feel like a jerk, but I did what I thought I needed to do at the moment.

Stop 032: Angelo's Taverna (Capital Hill)

Angelo’s Taverna

Location:  620 E. 6^th Ave. Denver, CO

Angelo’s wears 2 hats, pizza and oysters.  While I came here for the pizza,  I was tempted by the fruit of a mollusk.  Weird side note;   as I typed the previous line, the song “Tempted” by  Squeeze queued up in my head and I must say that tempted by the fruit of a mollusk,  would be an awful Weird Al song.  Anyways… even if my pizza tasted like absolute dung,  I would still say the service was awesome, and I would come back.  In a 5 minute span,  4 different employees asked me if I needed something, and it was not annoying, I actually felt welcome.  To top it off, the owner brought out my pizza and personally thanked me for my order.   The pizza was plenty decent.    The sauce was flavorful and the cheese was like a rugby player, thick, white, and salty.   Now let’s break down the toppings…

Meatball:  not the best I have ever had, but certainly above average        Grade:   B+

Green peppers:  fresh, must have been cut within 15 minutes of being dispersed       Grade:  A

Pepperoni:  legit       Grade:  B

Mushrooms:  not from a can, and that is all I can ask for       Grade:  B

I will say, the crust is suspect to being frozen.  There was no evidence presented during the consumption of my 12” pie that the crust was made in house or day of purchase.  It simply had no game, but everything else was good enough to propel it to a pizza train 4   (PT4)